The great Marcus Aureleus once said “those that can write, write books. Those that cannot, write blogs about books.” Wise words. The man was a visionary. Welcome to the section of the website where I, a person with no published works, will review the works of other people who are talented enough that they get paid to write professionally. Thank you, Internet. Golf is nothing without its stories, its lessons, and its fantasies. It has walked hand in hand with the written word since Moses angrily hit a rock with a stick and found water.
One of the many beauties of golf is how its written works almost never stale. Regardless of technological advancements, swing coaches, analytics, useless swing aids, and changes in golf course architecture, the essence of the game remains essentially the same. What that essence is might be different for each person you ask, but as the saying goes “there is nothing new under the sun”. Regardless of who you are and what elements of the game speak to your soul, something has been written that will touch you. Will make you feel seen. Reaffirm your hope that in a game predominantly played alone, there are others like you. There always has been and there always will be.
We are tremendously fortunate to have numerous golf books to choose from, but that freedom can also be overwhelming and even paralyzing at times. That’s where I come in. I’m going to put myself through the rigors of reading as many golf books as my kids will allow and then I’ll give you my opinions so you can decide which ones will most likely speak to you.
Aside from a synopsis and my general opinion on the book, I will also bestow the following awards (among others as necessary):
The Never Do This Award: Here, I will completely judge the book by its cover and title. You can say looks don’t matter all you want, but it’s not true. Just look at Kim Kardashian back when she was Paris Hilton’s assistant. You think she has 364,000,000 Instagram followers now because of her great personality?
The Darwin Award: This was originally set to be an award for the best line in the book and was intended to be named for the greatest golf author of all time, Bernard Darwin. However, a podcast I enjoy and highly suggest you check out, The Duffer’s Literary Companion, already has such an award. Not to be deterred, my award will be named for Bernard’s grandfather, Charles. Yes, that Charles Darwin. The award will now go to the line most fit to survive. Still the best line, but now it sounds way cooler.
The Throwing Darts Ratio: This is less an award and more a metric. When I read, I use these things called Book Darts to mark off memorable lines in whatever I’m reading without damaging the pages or turning my library into a bunch of wannabe coloring books. They are reusable, leave no marks, and look super cool (I tell myself). Here, I will tell you how many book darts I used and what that equates to on a per page level. If a book is only 200 pages and I use 100 Book Darts, there’s a good chance it’s better than a 500 page book in which I use 150 book darts. At least that’s how it should work in my mind. We’re going to find out together if it’s true.
The Planet Ice Award: Did you know that the original working title for Titanic was Planet Ice? While that title in no way has anything to do with the movie, I can confidently say Planet Ice is a far superior title to Titanic. Do you know how I know that? Titanic has been out for over 25 years and I’ve never seen it. Planet Ice? I would have seen that movie 20 times in the last 25 years and I don’t even know what it’s about. This award goes to the best potential alternate title I can think of.
The Wodehouse Awards: This will be a series of awards I give out at the end of the year to my favorite books. It is named for my favorite golf author and likely my favorite author in general, P.G. Wodehouse. The man was an absolute genius and every time I put fingers to keyboard in an attempt to write something insightful and entertaining about our shared addiction I feel as though I am square dancing directly through his putting line.
As much as I look forward to writing about these books, I am excited to read them all the more. If you have any requests or suggestions please let me know! The queue is currently about 12 books long, but I’ll get there eventually. (5.7)
